ARTICLES

Healing and Feeling the Pain

Oakland Diocesan Conference on Homosexuality Puts the Church "In Context"

By Bob Clarke

In the second week in September, about 140 people gathered in the Marriott Hotel in Oakland for the 7th annual conference of the National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries. Father Jim Shexnayder, the moving force behind the organization set up under Oakland Bishop John Cummins' direction, remarked to the conferees that the Church still "makes it very difficult to work with gay and lesbian Catholics who have accepted their sexual orientation and are involved with intimate relationships." Father Shexnayder continued, "Chastity is one virtue, but it's not the only virtue. We're just trying to put Church teaching in context." Meeting against the background of the Vatican directive which labeled homosexuality as a disorder and referred to gay sex as an intrinsic evil, association president John Good of the diocese of Orange County, who said he serves Skid Row children in Los Angeles, said, "There's a lot of pain out there, which we're trying to heal."

The conference was co-chaired by Michael Harmuth and Margaret Roncalli (a member of the association board and chair of the Diocese of Oakland's Task Force for Outreach to Gay and Lesbian Communities and their Families), and tables were set up to promote diocesan gay ministry organizations, the Berkeley Franciscan School of Theology, the Sagrada bookshop in Oakland "serving people of all faiths," and The Gay & Lesbian Journey Weekend, a non-denominational retreat sponsored by St. Francis (Catholic) Special Ministries of Sacramento. Many of the participants came from California, with others from places like Richmond, Virginia; Charlotte, North Carolina, and upstate New York. Almost all were white; the great majority was male; and considerably more than half were gray-headed. Each was asked to evaluate the conference and to indicate whether he/she planned on attending next year's gathering in Charlotte. While those identified themselves as clergy and religious were, for the most part, lay-attired, three individuals did wear clerical clothing. An auxiliary bishop from Cincinnati was the only self-identified member of the hierarchy in attendance. Also in non-civies were a Byzantine priest on the faculty of Aquinas High School in San Bernardino, and an elderly Dominican nun.

After a rendition of the conference's theme song, "Jubilee" which emphasized setting captives (homosexuals?) free, the first evening's events included the first of five plenary sessions. This was called "Jubilee is for Everyone." The talk was given by Father Ken Hamilton, who is also known for his ministry in Liberation Theology and "rite of passage" programs for "at-risk" youth. But Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were the important events of the conference: four plenary sessions, each lasting 90 minutes to two and one-half hours, 18 seventy five minute-long workshops; around a dozen caucuses each lasting roughly an hour and a half, a social gathering on Al Capone's former yacht; a banquet and a Saturday night "Eucharist". Friday morning's plenary speaker was Father Richard Rohr, founder of the New Jerusalem Community in Ohio, who talked about "letting go" and "sharing the space with others." James and Evelyn Whitehead hosted the other three plenary sessions, the last of which took place on Sunday morning. The first explored the concept, "what time is it?" for individuals and for the ministries who deal with homosexuals, and compared and contrasted such ideas as emptiness and fruitfulness, and absence awaiting God's presence. The conference panel did not explore the Church's teaching that sin leads to separation from God. The final talk dwelt on God's surprising and unanticipated gifts, but its reference to the disciplines required to dispose individuals to receive His healing grace made no mention of celibacy.

The first of Friday's sextet of workshops was a panel moderated by Terrie Lacino, Episcopal Director for Pastoral Ministry for the San Jose Diocese. San Jose also contributed ten conferees, including Monsignor Al Larkin. They explored the "Challenges of Ministry to Gay and Lesbian Catholics in a Multi-cultural Setting." Next, Nancy Flaxman , director of Outreach to Seniors in Marin, San Francisco, and Alameda counties, spoke to 20 conferees on "Reaching Out to Lesbian and Gay Seniors" -- "an invisible and often isolated group." In Julie Lienert's workshop "Safe Schools for All," the two dozen attendees heard a question from the director of social justice at Sacred Heart in Atherton, "How do we talk to our communities, our churches, our schools on how the work we do is actually a social imperative of the Catholic Church?" Ms. Lienert's associate from the Livermore School district, Joan Kral, answered, "We have lots of resources from the Anti-Defamation League." Her companion cautioned that her program, carried out under the auspices of Catholic Charities of the East Bay, approved by Bishop Cummins of Oakland, and funded by the United Way, was directed at public school students, not Catholic students.

The "Creating a Safe and Inclusive Campus" workshop took as its model the Jesuit Santa Clara University in California, where campus ministers Nicole Naffaa and Randy Swerigan have learned "how to support the homosexual community." In earnest they described the gestation of the sticker they created to manifest this support, the encouragement they had received from everyone from the president to the counseling department, whose near-totality of approbation Swerigen characterized as "a seamless garment at this point, although ragged around the edges." Staying within the parameters of tolerance, he said that it was an individual's decision as to whether or not he/she would display the sticker. He presumed that the president would set an appropriate example, and that his staff will take their cue from him.

In "Lesbian Daughters and Gay Sons," Casey and Mary Ellen Lopata (co-directors of the Catholic Gay and Lesbian Ministry in Rochester, New York), speaking from their own experience, sympathized with the confusion experienced by parents when their gay children suddenly "come out of the closet, usually when they're least expecting it." The Lopatas (and their peers) will be there to "help families learn that in their gay son or lesbian daughter God's love is revealed."

Father Danielson's workshop "Welcoming Parish Ministry" drew the largest crowd. He described the U.S hierarchy as lacking in common sense, and pointedly attacked the Cardinal-archbishop of Philadelphia's comments on Holy Week services held in his city. "Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut about only washing the feet of males?" Father Danielson alluded to what he alleged were money-laundering activities in the activities directed by San Francisco Archibishop Levada and Bishop Cummins with the donation of $30,000 to help support passage of California's Proposition 22.

On Friday afternoon, six 75-minute workshops were held. Bishop Carl Moeddel, auxiliary bishop of Cincinnati, spoke on "Diocesan Ministry Built on Compassion and Fidelity." He recounted how this ministry was a direct outgrowth of Dignity, spoke about his contribution as one of the six-member episcopal committee, which produced the document Always Our Children, and on his attempts to obtain (so far limited) acceptance by Catholics in his archdiocese of his book. Bishop Moeddel's major initiative in the upcoming year is to approach high school principals in what he referred to as "in-service days," to persuade them to promulgate the book to high school students and then their elementary school peers would follow. However, Bishop Moeddel said that the absence of a clear archdiocesan policy on the subject has made most principals reluctant to go with his program. Another disappointment for Moeddel was "the torpedoing of my youth support group idea for gays and lesbians at the secondary school level," by the director of Catholic Social Services, after Moeddel left for Oakland.

About fifty people attended "Parish Lesbian and Gay Faith Sharing Groups," hosted by Diane Berry of the "Catholic community of Pleasanton." Rita Billeci, director of Oakland's Family Life Ministry and Mary Pierce Buxton, director of the Straight Spouse Network used Always Our Children as their source document for the score who attended their talk in the family ministry workshop. Ben Owen, a faculty member of the Basilian Bishop O'Dowd High School in Oakland -- also Bishop Cummin's alma mater -- gave the workshop, "Faithful and True: Homosexuality and Catholicity in a High School." He reflected on the dangers of reductionism and selectivity of those (including Rome) who quote scriptural readings on homosexuality. "We will not apologize for the meaningful, insightful dialogue we seek with our students." He continued, "The Church has the right to deny public roles of service and leadership to those whose public behavior openly violates its teachings." In 1995, Owen founded the Gay and Lesbian Education and Affirmation club in his school, which is still opposed by faculty members but receives wholehearted endorsement by his "pretty enlightened principal." Owens reported positively that an O'Dowd survey of students, which reported such responses between 10th grade and senior girls as "homosexuality is not a decision one makes. You are born with it ... homosexuality is normal and healthy ... everyone has the right to choose their own sexuality and should be respected for that decision."

Mary Ann Finch's "Body Praise: Reclaiming the Sacramentality of the Body," had as its emphasis body-centering exercises to deepen self-knowledge and self-awareness. The strong overtones of self-centered body worship attracted a mere four to come and gyrate. Along the same lines were "Ministering to the Minister," given by Tina Tortorilla, described as a "professional counselor and spiritual director" attending the Berkeley Jesuit School of Theology, and "Sabbath and Self Care," by Sister Marian Castellucio, an Adrian Dominican nun and Oakland pastoral minister. The former sought to help participants affirm their needs for Sabbath rest and minister to themselves, while Sister Marian taught visualization and meditation tools to allow for care of self. Father Eugene Creech of Charlotte, North Carolina spoke on the subject "Spiritual direction for Gays and Lesbians." He said that "Spiritual direction is one of the greatest gifts the Church has to give, but organized religion has no place in spiritual direction. We are not there to teach moral theology. It is my (your) presence (as gays and lesbians), which provides spiritual direction. Homosexuality is one of God's most significant gifts. To be gay or lesbian is to have received a special blessing from God." Father Hoover finished by paying tribute to his dog "Nikita" for that animal's invaluable service as a sort of assistant counselor-spiritual director to his clients, whose pain the dog helped ameliorate. Three male members of his HIV/AIDS support group in Charlotte then related how their loving and intimate relationships, "where two became one," enable the Holy Spirit to give spiritual direction to both participants.

On Sunday morning, about a third of the conference attendees met for the closing ritual, directed by a female singer-musician. She offered up incantations to various gods, such as that of ecstasy, to which members of the audience responded with one-word affirmations. Following a final rendition of the conference song and much hugging and touching, the gathering dispersed.

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